The Left: The way weather patterns have been shifting, it’s likely there’ll be some heavy rains upstream in coming seasons. We should work on emergency preparedness.
The Mainstream: Huh?
The Conservatives: All’s for the best in this best of all possible worlds.
The Left: Weather forecasts are indicating really heavy rains coming. The river could flood if this happens. We’ll need to be prepared.
The Mainstream: Huh?
The Conservatives: We expect continued sun, excellent for tourism. Unless of course anyone other than Conservatives were in government. We’re the ones responsible because the sun shines out of our butts.
The Left: There have now been some very heavy rains upstream, and there’s no sign of this rainy season letting up. We can expect the river to start rising soon. Preparation has to start now. Some sandbags at least might be nice.
The Mainstream: Apparently there is rain upstream, which is causing temporary problems for the people upstream.
Some worried people: Hey, don’t we usually get floods when there’s that much rain up there? Shouldn’t the government be doing something?
The Conservatives: What’s this talk of rain? Look around you. It’s not raining!
The Left: OK, so the water is rising as we’ve said over and over it would. And the rain is moving this way too. We’re going to have severe flooding and nobody’s done anything about levees, drainage, shelter for people left homeless . . . anything much, really.
The Mainstream: It looks as if there is going to be a flood. Of course, nobody could have predicted this, but a consensus is emerging that the government should take strong measures.
Many worried people: Hey, there’s gonna be a freaking flood! Shouldn’t we be doing something? We could use some sandbags around here!
The Conservatives Economic Update: We’ve heard wild talk of flooding, but we have more important issues: Finding ways to hose the other parties. However, since there does seem to be some water spilled we’re allocating two paper towels to clean it up.
The Liberals: Zzzz . . . Huh? Wha? HEY! This is an outrage! And the NDP just reminded us . . . um, we knew all along that you don’t have the majority of seats! Keep trying to screw us over and we’ll (bzz bzz) . . . that is, keep on ignoring the flood and we’ll bring down your government!
The Conservatives: Ha ha! You can’t bring us down with a vote in Parliament if there’s no Parliament!
The Left, the Mainstream, Lots of worried people: The flood is getting bad, the rains are just increasing, there’s a gonna be trouble, if the government doesn’t start making with the fucking sandbags big time right now people will be heading for the hills!
The Liberals: Yeah, what they said. Sandbags. Those seem popular right now.
The Conservatives’ Budget: Oh, a flood! We’ve been listening. We understand now. So you’ll be happy to know we’re allocating a whole roll of paper towels!
This one got me: "The Mainstream: Apparently there is rain upstream, which is causing temporary problems for the people upstream."
Tee hee.
Post of the year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LOL!
My favourite:
The Mainstream: It looks as if there is going to be a flood. Of course, nobody could have predicted this, but a consensus is emerging that the government should take strong measures.
Great stuff. But the Libs added a new line today...
The Liberals: We still get the sense everybody else would prefer sandbags. But we'll support the "whole roll" plan as long as you document what every towel was used for.
Awesome
Remember about 2 weeks ago Mr. Flat out liar was saying things were going to be tough. Now with the release of the help to the economy, he's calling it a CRISIS.
It looks to me that their doing very little, but making it spin with helping everybody, but acually doing next to nothing just to hang on to power.making a coalition with the separatists, Give me a bloody break
And its a hard, its a hard, its a hard rain.... that's gonna fall..
Bob Dylan 196?