So, ok, I know I'm not Shakespeare, and I'm not Tom Lehrer either, although man, do I miss him and hope he is doing well.
But as Tom would say, I have a modest little something here. First, I'll give you the original:
Tom Lehrer, The Vatican Rag (1965)
And now, for my thoughts on the word we've all been stumbling to pronounce for days:
Doin' the Proroguin' Rag
First you strike a nasty pose,
Sneer at all imagined foes,
Plot a government of hate, and
Terminate, terminate, terminate.
Ministers are merely puppets,
Write their speeches for your Muppets,
When you face resistance,
You can find assistance by
Doin’ the proroguin’ rag!
Motorcade across the avenue,
Keep that presidential attitude,
There the lady who is your senior will
Warn you that your act is mean, but still,
If it is, try fakin’ sincerity,
Agree to compromise and clarity,
Two, four, six, eight,
Time to grovel and ingratiate.
So disguise that nasty pose,
Grin at journalists in rows,
Duck a well-deser-ved fate, and
Terminate, terminate, terminate.
Lock the doors of Parliament,
Bigotry is heaven-sent,
Slander all the socialists,
Don’t leave out the separatists,
Gettin’ tyrannical,
Sorta fanatical,
Doin’ the proroguin’ rag!
Anyone who wishes to dispute my scansion might check Tom's lyrics here. As I remember Tom, he could fit in anything he felt like fitting in, so that was the principle I followed. I know I cheated on a bunch of rhymes. All suggestions for improvement welcome.
Brava skdadl, Yr. probably much too young to recall Jubilation T. Cornpone, Al Capp's version of Harpoon+his merry crew of Dogpatch politocos.
Cheers,g
Gavin, I learned to read by lying on my tummy next to my dad, my older brother on t'other side, as we worked through the Saturday funny papers strip by strip, so for sure, I know Li'l Abner.
Prince Valiant and the Katzenjammer Kids forevah!
It's Friday afternoon -- have a glass of Kickapoo Joy Juice.
skdadl, this is great! Thanks!
Re. scansion:
From Lehrer's "The Folk Song Army":
"The tune don't have to be clever
And it don't-matter-if-you-put-a-couple-of-extra-syllables-into-a-line
It sounds more ethnic if it ain't good English
And it don't even gotta rhyme ...
Sorry, rhyne"
Well done, skdadl
Brilliant!
If Bob Rae has kept up his piano chops, he ought to take that one on the road.
Love it skdadl!
The Destruction of Stephen Harper
February, 2009
The Tory came down like a wolf on the fold
And his cohorts were male white fat rich and old
And the lies that they told were like stars in the sea
When the blue wave rolls nightly on Gichigami
Like the hirelings of tyrants they barred the doors fast
That were won for the people three hundred years past.
But the men who had keys were not men who had time
And threescore weeks later they paid for their crime
And the sworn of the people took all our rights back
And the tyrant that loomed was revealed for a hack.
The lies were undone by the truth and by trust
That the votes of the people were legal and just
And the country moved onward and strove to forget
When the rule of the people had seemed sore beset
And there sat King Stephen his goose at last cooked
With the dew on his brow, and his tickets home booked.
And the caucus was silent, the banners unflown
The papers unlifted, the spitwads unblown
And the bloggers of Lethbridge are loud in their peeve
And the idols are broke in the temple of Steve
And the rule of the right wing, unasked for, unearned
Hath found itself utterly, permanently spurned.
Ah crud there's the problem with playing with scansion, that probably should read "Male dumb fat white rich and old" as it was shy a syllable.
Och, Lord Byron, I know the problem. ;-)
That is magnificent. Wow -- you are sending me back to the original. That first line is one of the best things you ever wrote.
But then you always were mad, bad, and dangerous to know.
Thanks very much, guys. I thought most people would think I was just being silly. Well, I mean, I was just being silly, but what else can we do?
And if Bob Rae wants the song, that's ok. We're Creative Commons here, and even if he does make money, well, we get that problem too. We're a very flexy group.
Sweet.
Also (h/t the Jurist):
http://anndouglas.typepad.com/one_woman_one_blog/2008/12/dear-parent-of-a-conservative-member-of-parliament.html
Unfortunately I screwed up the first third now that I look at it; the first two lines of the second were actually mean to be the last two of the first, and the first third is 2 lines short. I'll take a look at it later and see what has to be rejiggered. If anyone has suggestions, the original couplets at the end of the first third are
Like the leaves of the forest when Summer is green,
That host with their banners at sunset were seen:
Like the leaves of the forest when Autumn hath blown,
That host on the morrow lay withered and strown.
Because of the narrative challenges of Harper's shenanigans I had to make the first third all bad news; so while one could keep the likeness of the last two couples - in otherwords, make the second couplet begin with "Like..." and a simile. Either referring to Tories fanning out and lying, or to protests, would fit there in the poem.
Whooee! Good lyricizin', Skdaddler. Some good odifyin' here, too.
JB
Edifyin' odifyin', even, eh, JimBobby?
Ha!